The Storm

The Storm by Elenowen is my new favourite song.
It describes every feeling inside of me right now.

Nightmares

I had horrific nightmares.

The first one was about my dad. It was basically the same setting from my freshman year, but this time I chased him down the road and then he got in a car wreck.

The second one was at the party where I got molested in October 2009. It was bad because this time no one was around to hear me scream and then my ex walked in and the turned out.

I hate nightmares.

Single for a Year?

At church today we sang a song by Kari Jobe entitled "Healer".
I love this song.
Anyways.
I am going to be single for a year. No boys. No kissing. No anything with the opposite sex.
Of course I will talk to my best guy friends, but I feel that my life is so focused on the men in my life, my clothes, my everything and not on God. I feel like this one year of swearing off everything involving men is going to be good for me. I need Jesus.


Oh. I am also not putting myself in situations (i.e. parties, etc) that will make me feel differently and act in a way not suitable for God's glory. Which will be all the more difficult because I am moving to Downtown Denver.

So here is to a year of solitude, God, nature, reevaluation, prayers, love, femininity, writing, and strength.

What Do I Do?

I am ready to give myself 117% over to God. I really am, but I'd love to know what my future looks like. I trust Him with everything, my late grandfather taught me to do that, rest his soul.

I am so empowered lately with this new found femininity.

Nightgowns, baby pink, baby blue, grey, white, glitter, pink lipstick, floral print, tea cups, Coexisting, my Macbook, boyfriend<3, short hair, blush.

So Unworthy

It is 2:31 in the morning. I have class at 10 in the morning. Whatever will I do? Go to class tired.

I have been reflecting on my spiritual walk. Why must I sin against Him?

I love you, God.

Gluttony & Love

I have eaten too much.
Snacks have consumed my body.
I need to stop.
Healthy. I have been doing yoga and working out, though.

Apparently last night when I was asleep at my boyfriend's, he whispered in my ear, "Are you in love with me?". Apparently I told him yes. I feel idiotic. I don't do that whole love nonsense, but apparently my sleep self does?

Goodnight. Drink some tea.

And I Pour Out My Soul Deep Within Me.

I am suffering from an ocipital migrane and vertigo right now. This is dreadful and I do not wish this on anyone. Medicine and sleep are not working right now. I am calling out to God for help-- so much pain. I know it is bad because I opted to not go to my Creative Writing class. :(

One more exam tomorrow and then three class periods Friday are the only things standing in my way from a relaxing "Kelsey Weekend". I desparately am in need of some me time. Although, Saturday (headache permitting) I believe my boyfriend and I will be going to see the play Sherlock Holmes: Crucifer of Blood that my school is showing. Lovely.

"As a deer thirsts for the water Lord, my soul longs after you."

As Much As I Love

- the history of our country
- my job
- classes
- productivity
- homework
- essays

I really would just like to curl up in my bed with my stuffed zebra Zig-Zag and never open my eyes to the world. Just lye in bed and pray, write, read, think, SLEEP. Anything of those sorts.

However, cuddling with my boyfriend is always a great alternative. The nose kisses he gives me make me weak in the knees.